- He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Paddy O'Dea

- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
- Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
- I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

- I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
- "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.
- "Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce